Miss PrettyGinyu
by Nocturnal Blue
Summary: The Ginyu Force needs money quick! They come up with an idea that will make Jeice shudder with fear!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own dragon ball z or any of its characters.

"We need some money….and soon…" Racoom told Burter as they sifted through the refrigerator. They needed food, and the only "food" in the fridge was…moving….so that ruled out the God knows How Old Chinese-food.

Ginyu was pacing back and forth in the front room and Guldo was sitting in the easy chair sipping a pop. Jeice was out, and the rest of the Ginyu's were looking for some fast cash. "I've got it!" Ginyu screeched. The sudden noise made Guldo spray soda out his nose and all over the carpet, Racoom hit his head on the inside of the freezer, and Burter screamed.

"Geeze….take a chill pill guys. I have the most brilliant plan. As your fearless and good-looking leader," he posed dramatically,"I've come up with a most ingenious plan!" By now, everyone had collected themselves and moved closer to Ginyu. Racoom rubbed the newly acquired lump on his massive head and dared to ask. "What is it Captain?"

Ginyu tossed his head back and laughed."Let's go into town, boys. I'll show you there." Everyone marched after their leader in to town. They got as far as the Community Poster Board before Ginyu came to an abrupt halt, making the smallest Ginyu run smack in to Burter's leg.

"HEY! Watch it you little freak!" He hissed as he swatted Guldo away. "These are my new boots!"

Guldo slobbered a sarcastic apology. They were about to get in a cat-fight when Ginyu slapped Racoom. All eyes were on Ginyu now. "What did you do that for?!" He asked rubbing his jaw. "I needed to get everyone's attention and you were the closest. Anyway…Look here men! It's a Job-Wanted ad in show Biz! It's a contest, and the winner gets $5,000. Second place gets $3,000, and third place gets $1,000!"

Everyone cheered and jumped in the air. Burter eyed the paper. "What's it for Cap'n?" A slow, weird smile crossed Ginyu's face. "It's a Beauty Pagent."


	2. The Plan

Don't own DBZ or the characters.

The Force gave their leader a questioning look and backed up about a foot or two. They didn't want to catch whatever he had that was making him even CONSIDER a Beauty Pageant. A Dance Off, yeah, that was to be expected. But a BEAUTY PAGEANT?!

Ginyu was still smiling. He snapped back to reality and took his men home.

Jeice was digging around in the pantry to see if there was something edible. No luck. He wasn't even going to bother to look in the fridge. He heard Burter and Racoom arguing about who was better looking when the front door swung wide open, slamming into the wall behind it.

As soon as they entered, everyone froze. Jeice sensed something was amiss and began to sweat. Heavily. The last man to enter the room was the notorious Captain himself. Once he saw the young orange Ginyu he was sent into a wild laughing fit. But it wasn't ordinary laughing….it was Evil laughter.

Jeice, thinking that Ginyu had found out who put the laxatives in his chocolate ice cream, began to cry. "I'm sorry! I didn't want to do it! Burter made me! I told him you were going to be mad! I told him that you hated to get the runs when we were on a mission but he made me! He said…"

He was silenced by the looks of horror and amazement by his teammates. Realizing that that wasn't what his leader was laughing at he wiped his eyes and immediately began to apologize to Ginyu.

Although Captain Ginyu was mad, he let it go. Because what was in store for Jeice was far worse than what he could ever do for revenge. Well, of course….other than doing it back…..

"Jeice! My favorite orange…..orange…..member! I have a special mission for you. "The look in his eyes was scary to say the least. Jeice shakily asked, "What is it Cap'n?"

"Well….we need money something fierce. And I found the perfect solution. You, my friend, are going to be entered in a Beauty Pageant!" Jeice's eyes widened in horror. "WHAT?! WHY ME?"

Ginyu shifted his look to Racoom. This was a sign to explain to Jeice. Racoom started, first slowly, then amused. "Well, it's because you have hair. Long hair. And you could pass as a lovely girl. (With some work of course.) And you're the best dancer next to the Captain. Plus, you have lovely green eyes!" With that last remark, everyone except Jeice broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

When everyone had settled down, Jeice began to speak in a calm tone. "Are you quite finished? When is this….pageant….? I don't have anything to wear." He was seriously considering doing it. "And what's the Prize?"

Guldo spoke up." $5,000 for first place. $3,000 for second and $1,000 for third." He was drooling a bit from the giggling and wiped his mouth

"Hmm….I want half. If I win, I get half. That's the only way I'll do it."Jeice was very good about making deals. Considering that IF he DID win, he would be humiliated that he actually passed as a woman.

Ginyu smirked. "All right then. You can have your half. But me and the boys get to doll you up real nice. Got it?"

Jeice smiled real big. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever." He loved being the center of attention.


	3. First try at beauty

Own Dragon Ball Z otherwise this story would have been an episode.

The morning sun was shining brightly in Jeice's room. He yawned and tried to hide his face under the pillow. He was beginning to fall asleep again when Ginyu stormed in. "Wake up you lazy sack of crap! We have work to do!"

He then proceeded to rip the covers off Jeice and roll him on to the floor. He was wearing nothing but his Spiderman boxers, so got a really bad rug burn on his thigh. He was awake now and his leader was staring at him.

"Get up already! It's almost 7 o'clock! Geeze! What are you going to do, sleep all day? We have shopping to do! Go take a shower and meet us in the living room by seven thirty!"

Ginyu left the room and Jeice tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "Seven thirty! Doesnt he know how long it takes me to clean my hair?! He better have some food for me when I get out…" He kept mumbling on his way to the shower, then he got in and turned on the hot water. That wasn't very smart. He was hit with a water jet of ice cold water. "AUGH!" Someone had replaced the hot and cold water handles.

Apparently, he was too tired to know better than to just get in and THEN turn the water on…..especially living with the Ginyu force. He flipped out trying to reverse the water stream and accidentally broke the knobs. The water was freezing and now he couldn't even turn it off.

He quickly washed himself by splashing water on his body, then he leaned way over so he wouldn't get directly hit by the spray of ice to wash his hair. After he was done, he punched the shower head to make the water stop. It doesn't work very well but at least it's not as strong as before.

He dries off, gets dressed in his usual armor and heads in to the living room. "Stop right there! Go put this on!" He tossed Jeice a green robe. "Why Captain? What are you going to do…?" He started to wonder if it was a good idea to follow orders.

"Don't question me! Do it NOW or I'LL do it FOR you!" Ginyu Growled as he clenched his fist. Jeice turned quickly and went back to the bathroom. He changed and went back to Ginyu, only now, everyone was there.

"How are you Jeice? Sleep well I hope?" Guldo was on the brink of hysterical laughter. Jeice raised one eyebrow and sat on the couch. Ginyu waited until he was comfortable before he started speaking."We have a busy day today. Burter took the liberty to go get your….materials…..so we could start early."

He pulled out a large tackle box and dropped it on the small coffee table in front of him. "I need you to follow me to the Rec room." He stood up and motioned everyone to follow. Burter, Racoom, and Guldo snickered as they looked at Jeice.

He followed as well. When he got to the Rec room he was shocked to see a pink Vanity set with a large mirror. He tried to back away, but Racoom picked him up and set him on the seat in front of the mirror. Jeice was having second thoughts about this….

"Well boys, I look like we need to fix our pal Jeice up for the beauty pageant. Ill handle the eyes. Burter will cover the lips. Racoom will do the hair and Guldo…you can do the nails. Jeice passed out from shock.

When he awoke, Jeice noticed he was propped up and the wall next to the vanity, and his teammates were staring at him. He slowly got up, and asked what was wrong. He took a step toward them and they backed up like he was a bear getting ready to maul them.

He soon realized what was wrong. They had tried to make him "pretty". He looked in the mirror and screamed a long, high pitched scream. "Well..." Burter said," At least he SCREAMS like a girl…"

Jeice had bright blue eye shadow all the way up to his eyebrows, dark green lipstick around his mouth and barley on his lips, and his hair looked like he brushed it with a rabid squirrel. He turned to the guys and shrieked," WHAT DID YOU DO?! I'VE SEEN BETTER MAKE UP MANIQUINS!"

He began to cry, causing the eye shadow to run. Ginyu was thinking. "A-HAH! I've got it! We have to bring in the expert!" Everyone turned to him. "We will bring in the person with the most expertise on this subject."

"WHO?" Racoom, Burter, and Jeice shouted in unison. Guldo shrieked, "I know who!! It's Vegita!" Ginyu looked at him."No….it's none other than….." everyone leaned closer to hear. "THAN………THAN……."

"Well who is it you crazy?!" Jeice needed to know. He hoped it wasn't Dodoria because he had recently replaced his ice water with toilet water, and Dodoria was dying to get back at him. "Settle down. Its Freeza.He is the ONLY one I know who could handle a job this big and stupid!"

Burter nodded his head in agreement and Racoom clapped his huge hands like a child. Guldo picked his nose. Jeice relaxed. He knew if anyone could do it, it was Freeza.


	4. The master arrives!

I do not own DBZ or any characters…

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"Burter! You're the fastest! Go fetch Lord Freeza! This is an emergency!" Ginyu screamed the command so quickly Burter jumped and almost screamed.

He did a sort of ginyu salute, which was him bending over and jumping up into the air screaming his name, then darted out the door. Jeice was still seated in the vanity chair. By now he was rocking back and forth singing 'I'm A Little Teapot' while playing with a strand of hair.

Ginyu turned and looked at Racoom and Guldo. "What are you doing, just standing around?! Racoom! Go make me a sandwich! Guldo! Go clean the cats litter box!"

Guldo looked lost. "But we don't have a cat!" Ginyu looked around trying to find a cat that wasn't there." go buy one and THEN clean the litter box!" Guldo shot out of the room so that only ginyu and Jeice remained. Ginyu began to pace back and forth when Racoom entered the room holding a peanut butter sandwich.

Captain Ginyu walked over to grab the sandwich, but stopped."Whats this?! You nincompoop! You above all people should know I'm allergic to peanuts! Idiot!" he smacked the sandwich out of Racoom's giant hand. It flew across the room and landed in front of lord Freeza, who had just entered.

"Well, well, well…..captain ginyu….I see you have all but butchered the art of making someone beautiful…it looks like you need my help more than a fish needs water." With that, he snapped his fingers and Dodoria appeared. "Yes, my lord?" he saluted.

"Dodoria, be a dear and clean poor Jeice up will you? And please send in Zarbon. This is a big job and I'm going to need help." He glanced at Jeice, who was murmuring something about a spider and a drain, and added "A LOT of help…" Dodoria nodded and helped Jeice up. He left the room, and called for Zarbon on his scouter.

While they were waiting for Zarbon, the room was absolutely quite. Burter and Racoom stood together watching the clock, which was ticking so loud it sounded like a jackhammer, Ginyu kept dusting imaginary dust off the vanity, and Freeza played with his nails.

They stood like that for what seemed like hours until Guldo and Zarbon walked in together. Guldo was holding a stripped cat the size of a chair and Zarbon was holding a suitcase. Guldo walked slowly into the room, struggling with the giant cat, and spoke to ginyu."This was the only cat I could find." He placed the monster on the floor and it looked around lazily. "The store owner said he weighs 67 pounds and eats twice daily. For some reason, he seemed glad to get rid of him. He only cost .32 cents. I had money left over so I bought some cat food. Now we have to think of a name!"

Freeza, Zarbon, and Burter looked at this abnormally large cat with a bit of apprehension. By the vacant look on Racoom's face you could tell he was thinking hard. All the sudden, he shouted," His name should be Binky!"

Dodoria had just returned with Jeice, who was looking much more normal and much saner. They both jumped back a bit when seeing….Binky….and Dodoria covered his mouth."What is that?!"Racoom picked up the cat and petted him. "It's a kitty! His name is Binky!!"

Jeice shouted," A KITTY?! That thing looks like it belongs in a jungle eating people!" Racoom got defensive and replied,"Hes a cat! Don't make fun of him! You're just jealous!" compared to Racoom, Binky seemed a normal sized cat.

Freeza stepped in to stop the retarded argument."Ok…this is getting a little off track here. That is a cat, although it must have been involved in a nuclear waste accident, and I'm here to make Jeice a woman. So can we PLEASE continue?"

Everyone nodded and Racoom dropped Binky. The monster cat thundered into the next room, and Zarbon opened the suitcase. He smirked, and whispered to Dodoria and Freeza, who were next to him, "Time to begin….operation PRETTY WOMAN!"

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Thanks for all the reveiws!im trying to work Zarbon and Vegita in (he will come later)sorry it takes so long! i rarly have much free time cause of school and work, but i am working on these stories. 


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